I know lots of people who can fight with ease and say the right thing at the right time. They can recalls what happened decades ago and bring up those issues in a matter of seconds. Even if they have made up with the other person in past, they will dig out the same issues and faults and intensify the fight. I am one of those fools who can’t even fight intelligently.
When someone screams at me uselessly or picks a fight, I go blank and start thinking why the other person is accusing me of such a thing. I get so engrossed in the thought and find the situation so unbelievable that I can think of not a single thing to say in my defence. It is only in retrospect that I can think of 100 things to defend myself and counter-accuse the person.
There have been so many times when someone has accused me of emotionally not handling a situation properly or reacting in an unpleasant way, but I have never been able to explain my ground to them in time. I have only felt frustrated at that point of time and later cried to release my pent up emotions, never been able to defend myself and prove that I was right.
One more ‘problem’ of mine is that I can never retain my anger. I happen to cool down so fast that it acts against me. It doesn’t leave me with enough frustration to stick to the fight and make the other person’s life miserable. My irritation or dissatisfaction at not having the last word in the fight remains for a while. If the other person asks for forgiveness in time, I forget all about the issue and make up. But, in case the other person doesn’t, he is included in the list of the people I dislike for a certain period of time. Once that irritation wears off or the person in question doesn’t act unpleasantly again, I forgive and forget him.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Is it OK for a happily married women to have male friends?
I recently saw a movie called Life in a Metro, which had a very interesting storyline. A married woman whose marital life has gone a little bitter finds true love again in form of a friend who travels with her in train everyday. They have a few common interests and enjoy being together. Thought she feels guilty at making a male friend and enjoying his company, she can’t stop herself from indulging in this little pleasure that relives her of her everyday life pressure. They first take this as a harmless, platonic friendship but then as their friendship blossoms and they build trust in each other, they find that what they share is more than friendship.
Thus, when it is said that a man and woman can’t be ‘just’ friends, it is right to quite an extent. Usually, when a girl meets a guy and finds him worthy of her friendship, they exchange their contact information and stay in touch. Over a period of time, they interact, get to know each others likes and dislikes. If they still happen to like each other and appreciate some aspect of each other's personalities, they try and stay in touch constantly. This strengthens their friendship and helps in building trust. If this couple happens to be unmarried, things are simple, they have the freedom to carry their friendship to the next level and fall in love.
On the other hand, if they are already engaged or married, things take a different turn. If one or both of them are in unpleasant relationships already, this pushes them to rethink about their current relationship and give in to the temptation of taking the new relationship to the next level. This was also seen in the movie Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. Both Rani and SRK are seen to put an end to their marriage and marry each other. Whereas, if they are in a healthy and happy relationship with their spouse, they can remain good friends and also be faithful to their partners.
This is what I think, what do you think?
Thus, when it is said that a man and woman can’t be ‘just’ friends, it is right to quite an extent. Usually, when a girl meets a guy and finds him worthy of her friendship, they exchange their contact information and stay in touch. Over a period of time, they interact, get to know each others likes and dislikes. If they still happen to like each other and appreciate some aspect of each other's personalities, they try and stay in touch constantly. This strengthens their friendship and helps in building trust. If this couple happens to be unmarried, things are simple, they have the freedom to carry their friendship to the next level and fall in love.
On the other hand, if they are already engaged or married, things take a different turn. If one or both of them are in unpleasant relationships already, this pushes them to rethink about their current relationship and give in to the temptation of taking the new relationship to the next level. This was also seen in the movie Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. Both Rani and SRK are seen to put an end to their marriage and marry each other. Whereas, if they are in a healthy and happy relationship with their spouse, they can remain good friends and also be faithful to their partners.
This is what I think, what do you think?
Monday, May 18, 2009
My Ten Guilty Pleasures
1. Eating French fries and potato chips
2. Eating chocolates and pastries
3. Eating puchkas and samosas
4. Drinking my favourite cola or orange drink
5. Shopping for expensive cosmetics, clothes and shoes
6. Getting an expensive skin or hair care procedure done
7. Chatting and making friends online
8. Lazing around doing nothing
9. Skipping my workout to laze around
10. Watching a silly movie in a multiplex just for the heck of it
2. Eating chocolates and pastries
3. Eating puchkas and samosas
4. Drinking my favourite cola or orange drink
5. Shopping for expensive cosmetics, clothes and shoes
6. Getting an expensive skin or hair care procedure done
7. Chatting and making friends online
8. Lazing around doing nothing
9. Skipping my workout to laze around
10. Watching a silly movie in a multiplex just for the heck of it
Monday, May 11, 2009
Dasvidaniya - Movie Review
Dasvidaniya is a sweet and simple movie. The simplicity and the pace of the movie might have bored a few people, but that is the USP of the movie. The simplicity and beauty with which an ordinary, middle-class guy handles the hard fact of his fatal disease really melt my heart. It shows how this character, Amar Kaul, leads a very simple life of an average individual who tolerates a routine job with an overpowering boss just because the jobs helps him in earning enough to sustain his middle-class lifestyle. He has very few aspirations and wants in life. But, then the story takes a turn and he is diagnosed with a terminal disease. He then takes a hard look at his life and then decides to give up all the things that were tying him down all his life and live life king size for the last time.
He then makes a list of all the things he wants to do before he dies. He lists all the things that he always wanted to do but couldn’t do because either he was too shy to do or thought it was a luxury. He then goes on to fulfil his desires like buying the car of his choice from the money he gets from settlement after quitting his job. He also starts learning guitar from a professional.
Of all the things he does in his last few days on Earth, I like the way he gets in touch with his old flame and his best friend. These three were very close friends in their school days and stayed in the same residential complex, but couldn’t stay in touch after college. This girl whom he was in love with since childhood, is shown to have liked him as a friend, but nothing more than that. Whereas Amar is madly in love with her. He remembers all the little things they used to do and share as children. He finds out her contact details and pretends to meet her by chance near her workplace. This girl is shown to be equally excited to meet this guy. She then takes him to her house to meet her mother and to catch up with him. There he meets her daughter and husband, and realises that he has been too late in confessing his love for this girl. In her enthusiasm, this girl keeps telling her husband about the good time they spent as children and how he was an expert at a game they used to play. Amar and this girl used to be partners at guessing the name of movies in the game of Dumb Charades. She asks her husband to give him a name of a movie, asks Amar to enact it and then tries to guess it. He is then shown to enact it and she guesses it successfully in no time.
After spending some more time at her place, he waves a goodbye to her and her family with a heavy heart. But, after sitting in his car he realises that unless he confesses his love to this girl, he wouldn’t be able to die peacefully. He then rings her doorbell again and by way of Dumb Charades makes her guess the words ‘I love you’. The way this sequence has been picturised really melt my heart.
Next, he surfs the internet to find his best friend, Rajiv Jhulka. He finds him and sets up a voice chat with him. Then instead of saying ‘hi’, he addresses him as ‘Gun master G9’ which was their way of addressing each other in childhood and then starts singing one of their favourite tunes. Rajiv is also shown joining him in singing the song once he realises who is on the other side of the line. Then they greet each other and catch up with what is happening in their lives.
Amar doesn’t disclose his terminal illness to him. He only says that he will be coming to visit him soon. Amar then plans a foreign trip, which was one of the items in his ‘Things to do before I die’ list. He is then shown to fly to Rajiv’s country of residence and meet him with great excitement. The feeling is reciprocated by Rajiv. He takes him home and introduces him to his wife. Amar makes himself comfortable at his home. Meanwhile, Rajiv’s wife happens to find out of Amar’s illness. She misinterprets his intention of coming to meet Rajiv to a foreign land after not being in touch for 12 years. She explains to Rajiv that since he is a doctor, Amar has flown down to get a free treatment from Rajiv. Rajiv gets very upset by this and tries to make her understand that he knows his friend well and this couldn’t be the reason for his coming to meet him.
Amar happens to overhear their conversation, gets very upset, gathers his belongings and leaves their house quietly, without saying anything to them. He is then shown sitting on a bench near a bridge, thinking about what he should do next. He regrets his decision of coming all the way to meet his friend only to find out how his friend’s feelings have changed for him over all these years. While he is sitting and reflecting over the thought, a prostitute is shown to offer him her service. He refuses and tries to make her understand that he is upset and does care much about her offer. They are then shown to get into a fight and Amar then, terribly upset and dejected with life, tries to jump into the river to end his life. The prostitute then saves him, sympathises with his situation and takes him to her place. She feeds him and makes him comfortable. The plot then moves on to show how Amar, experiences love being reciprocated to him for the first time. He then spends a few days in her company and then bids her a farewell to come back to India.
The movie then moves on to show how he fulfils his other desires and then at the end, leaves some gift or the other for the people who had done him some good in his lifetime. The movie ends on a happy note, showing that he finally was able to do all the things he had listed to do before he died and thus died in peace.
He then makes a list of all the things he wants to do before he dies. He lists all the things that he always wanted to do but couldn’t do because either he was too shy to do or thought it was a luxury. He then goes on to fulfil his desires like buying the car of his choice from the money he gets from settlement after quitting his job. He also starts learning guitar from a professional.
Of all the things he does in his last few days on Earth, I like the way he gets in touch with his old flame and his best friend. These three were very close friends in their school days and stayed in the same residential complex, but couldn’t stay in touch after college. This girl whom he was in love with since childhood, is shown to have liked him as a friend, but nothing more than that. Whereas Amar is madly in love with her. He remembers all the little things they used to do and share as children. He finds out her contact details and pretends to meet her by chance near her workplace. This girl is shown to be equally excited to meet this guy. She then takes him to her house to meet her mother and to catch up with him. There he meets her daughter and husband, and realises that he has been too late in confessing his love for this girl. In her enthusiasm, this girl keeps telling her husband about the good time they spent as children and how he was an expert at a game they used to play. Amar and this girl used to be partners at guessing the name of movies in the game of Dumb Charades. She asks her husband to give him a name of a movie, asks Amar to enact it and then tries to guess it. He is then shown to enact it and she guesses it successfully in no time.
After spending some more time at her place, he waves a goodbye to her and her family with a heavy heart. But, after sitting in his car he realises that unless he confesses his love to this girl, he wouldn’t be able to die peacefully. He then rings her doorbell again and by way of Dumb Charades makes her guess the words ‘I love you’. The way this sequence has been picturised really melt my heart.
Next, he surfs the internet to find his best friend, Rajiv Jhulka. He finds him and sets up a voice chat with him. Then instead of saying ‘hi’, he addresses him as ‘Gun master G9’ which was their way of addressing each other in childhood and then starts singing one of their favourite tunes. Rajiv is also shown joining him in singing the song once he realises who is on the other side of the line. Then they greet each other and catch up with what is happening in their lives.
Amar doesn’t disclose his terminal illness to him. He only says that he will be coming to visit him soon. Amar then plans a foreign trip, which was one of the items in his ‘Things to do before I die’ list. He is then shown to fly to Rajiv’s country of residence and meet him with great excitement. The feeling is reciprocated by Rajiv. He takes him home and introduces him to his wife. Amar makes himself comfortable at his home. Meanwhile, Rajiv’s wife happens to find out of Amar’s illness. She misinterprets his intention of coming to meet Rajiv to a foreign land after not being in touch for 12 years. She explains to Rajiv that since he is a doctor, Amar has flown down to get a free treatment from Rajiv. Rajiv gets very upset by this and tries to make her understand that he knows his friend well and this couldn’t be the reason for his coming to meet him.
Amar happens to overhear their conversation, gets very upset, gathers his belongings and leaves their house quietly, without saying anything to them. He is then shown sitting on a bench near a bridge, thinking about what he should do next. He regrets his decision of coming all the way to meet his friend only to find out how his friend’s feelings have changed for him over all these years. While he is sitting and reflecting over the thought, a prostitute is shown to offer him her service. He refuses and tries to make her understand that he is upset and does care much about her offer. They are then shown to get into a fight and Amar then, terribly upset and dejected with life, tries to jump into the river to end his life. The prostitute then saves him, sympathises with his situation and takes him to her place. She feeds him and makes him comfortable. The plot then moves on to show how Amar, experiences love being reciprocated to him for the first time. He then spends a few days in her company and then bids her a farewell to come back to India.
The movie then moves on to show how he fulfils his other desires and then at the end, leaves some gift or the other for the people who had done him some good in his lifetime. The movie ends on a happy note, showing that he finally was able to do all the things he had listed to do before he died and thus died in peace.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Eating out: No more a novelty
Eating out has become quite a norm these days. It impossible to believe just how many big and small eateries the metro cities have these days. The busier people’s life is becoming, more people have started eating out. These days, since most couples have nuclear families and are busy working, it becomes pretty difficult for them to cook three meals a day. Also, there is so much variety in food available to people these days that eating out at least once a week has become a custom.
The flood of multi national food chains has made eating out a fashion statement and a status symbol. Nowadays, if you don’t give a birthday party of your toddler in one of these outlets, a question mark is put on your status in the society. When school going children discuss these birthday parties, it becomes a matter of pride for them to inform their friends that they are going to one of these MNC food chains for a birthday treat. When asked about their choice of place for celebrating their birthday, they choose one of these eating joints over home. They do not consider home cooked food as delicious. Home cooked food is an everyday fare, so they want to treat their friends to their choice of junk food and have fun.
A proof that this industry is a booming one is that every mall in the city has a number of eating joints. Some offering sizzlers, some North Indian fares, some South Indian delicacies, some multi-cuisine fast foods, some MNCs offering junk foods like pizzas, pastas, burgers and other food stuff, and some serving only Chinese, Mongolian or Italian specialities. There is no end to this list. Every restaurant tries to offer something that differentiates it from the rest. Each mall also has a food court that helps people in selecting different kinds of food from more than one outlet and enjoy it while sitting in one place.
Lives in cities have also become so hectic and stressful that a change of environment is welcome every weekend. So people tend to flock to these malls and eating joints every weekend to enjoy the ambience and the food being offered. Even if people don’t have proper meals here, snacks and other tit bits offered sell like hot cakes on weekdays and weekends. Vicinity to office complexes is another advantage to these malls. People step in at lunch time or come over for little celebrations with colleagues.
The flood of multi national food chains has made eating out a fashion statement and a status symbol. Nowadays, if you don’t give a birthday party of your toddler in one of these outlets, a question mark is put on your status in the society. When school going children discuss these birthday parties, it becomes a matter of pride for them to inform their friends that they are going to one of these MNC food chains for a birthday treat. When asked about their choice of place for celebrating their birthday, they choose one of these eating joints over home. They do not consider home cooked food as delicious. Home cooked food is an everyday fare, so they want to treat their friends to their choice of junk food and have fun.
A proof that this industry is a booming one is that every mall in the city has a number of eating joints. Some offering sizzlers, some North Indian fares, some South Indian delicacies, some multi-cuisine fast foods, some MNCs offering junk foods like pizzas, pastas, burgers and other food stuff, and some serving only Chinese, Mongolian or Italian specialities. There is no end to this list. Every restaurant tries to offer something that differentiates it from the rest. Each mall also has a food court that helps people in selecting different kinds of food from more than one outlet and enjoy it while sitting in one place.
Lives in cities have also become so hectic and stressful that a change of environment is welcome every weekend. So people tend to flock to these malls and eating joints every weekend to enjoy the ambience and the food being offered. Even if people don’t have proper meals here, snacks and other tit bits offered sell like hot cakes on weekdays and weekends. Vicinity to office complexes is another advantage to these malls. People step in at lunch time or come over for little celebrations with colleagues.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
60 Things I Wish Happen in My Lifetime
There are so many things on my mind right now that I think I should categorise them first and then start making a list so that they make sense to you.
Personal Agenda:
1. Start my arts and crafts business or continue writing profitably
2. Ride a bike (safely) with open arms and with the wind in my face
3. Ride a cycle around the Kodaikanal lake once again
4. Visit a less inhabited island with crystal clear, blue waters and go scuba diving and swimming in those beaches
5. Try a few adventure sports and enjoy rides at the best amusement park in the world
6. Celebrate my wedding anniversary on a luxurious yatch or 5 star cruise
7. Visit all the amazing hill stations around the world and play with ice
8. Visit all the lovely places they show on Discovery Travel and living
9. Buy a small, cosy penthouse on a hill station overlooking a calm lake with tall trees around
10. Lose oodles of weight and look stick thin
11. Eat a well stuffed aloo parathan with lots of butter without feeling guilty about it
12. Eat my favourite combination of potato chips and Bourbon biscuit
13. Wear a halter neck blouse and a short skirt
14. Frequent discos, concerts, plays, multiplexes…the list goes on
15. Meet my favourite celebrities
16. Have 1001 friends who want to always stay in touch with me
17. Make all my friends net savvy so that I can be in touch with all of them
18. Control my irritation towards whom I dislike and tolerate them better
19. Get a CD of my favourite ‘Full House’ TV series
20. Stay online 24/7
21. Have a super fast and latest PC at my disposal…always
22. Freeze my friends on an emotional plane so that we remain good friends forever
23. Wish to go higher on my spiritual plane
24. Wish that we all stay alive forever
25. Keep my parents, partner and children happy…always
26. Give my children a good upbringing
27. Have my children around me when I get old
28. Have good terms with my children when they grow up
29. Fall in love with my husband all over again
30. Enjoy courting with him by my side this time
31. Keep the warmth between us intact forever
32. Stay young at heart and stay fit forever
Skills I want to learn:
33. Learn how to play guitar properly
34. Learn to dance like a dream
35. Learn to sing like a dream
36. Perform live at some event
37. Participate in a reality show
38. Improve my communication and public speaking skills
39. Write an amazing, bestselling book
40. Buy anything that I want anytime
41. Do anything that I want anytime
42. Become an advanced user of a photo editing tool
43. Cook like an expert
44. Bake a perfect cake
45. Understand tailoring and styling of clothes better
Others:
46. Live in a huge, well-maintained residential complex with excellent facilities
47. Fight global warming and take steps to reverse the effect
48. Live in a bribe-free India
49. Bring down the level of aggression and jealousy in the society at large
50. Bring back the old times where people were more adjusting, understanding, compromising, and more patient
51. Live in a clean green city with lots of open space and water bodies
52. Change the multi-party system in Indian democracy
53. See young, talented, honest, hard working politicians whom I can be proud to vote for
54. Spread education and health awareness
55. Do something worthwhile for street children and orphans
56. Make as many women literate as I can
57. See women with poor economic background empower themselves with some skill and earn a living on their own
58. Stop people in foreign countries from thinking that India is just a poor, uncivilised, dirty, overcrowded and selfish nation
59. Stop politicians and religious groups from dividing people on religious issues and creating hatred amongst them
60. Stop terrorists from destroying innocent human lives on being provoked by some religious fanatics
Personal Agenda:
1. Start my arts and crafts business or continue writing profitably
2. Ride a bike (safely) with open arms and with the wind in my face
3. Ride a cycle around the Kodaikanal lake once again
4. Visit a less inhabited island with crystal clear, blue waters and go scuba diving and swimming in those beaches
5. Try a few adventure sports and enjoy rides at the best amusement park in the world
6. Celebrate my wedding anniversary on a luxurious yatch or 5 star cruise
7. Visit all the amazing hill stations around the world and play with ice
8. Visit all the lovely places they show on Discovery Travel and living
9. Buy a small, cosy penthouse on a hill station overlooking a calm lake with tall trees around
10. Lose oodles of weight and look stick thin
11. Eat a well stuffed aloo parathan with lots of butter without feeling guilty about it
12. Eat my favourite combination of potato chips and Bourbon biscuit
13. Wear a halter neck blouse and a short skirt
14. Frequent discos, concerts, plays, multiplexes…the list goes on
15. Meet my favourite celebrities
16. Have 1001 friends who want to always stay in touch with me
17. Make all my friends net savvy so that I can be in touch with all of them
18. Control my irritation towards whom I dislike and tolerate them better
19. Get a CD of my favourite ‘Full House’ TV series
20. Stay online 24/7
21. Have a super fast and latest PC at my disposal…always
22. Freeze my friends on an emotional plane so that we remain good friends forever
23. Wish to go higher on my spiritual plane
24. Wish that we all stay alive forever
25. Keep my parents, partner and children happy…always
26. Give my children a good upbringing
27. Have my children around me when I get old
28. Have good terms with my children when they grow up
29. Fall in love with my husband all over again
30. Enjoy courting with him by my side this time
31. Keep the warmth between us intact forever
32. Stay young at heart and stay fit forever
Skills I want to learn:
33. Learn how to play guitar properly
34. Learn to dance like a dream
35. Learn to sing like a dream
36. Perform live at some event
37. Participate in a reality show
38. Improve my communication and public speaking skills
39. Write an amazing, bestselling book
40. Buy anything that I want anytime
41. Do anything that I want anytime
42. Become an advanced user of a photo editing tool
43. Cook like an expert
44. Bake a perfect cake
45. Understand tailoring and styling of clothes better
Others:
46. Live in a huge, well-maintained residential complex with excellent facilities
47. Fight global warming and take steps to reverse the effect
48. Live in a bribe-free India
49. Bring down the level of aggression and jealousy in the society at large
50. Bring back the old times where people were more adjusting, understanding, compromising, and more patient
51. Live in a clean green city with lots of open space and water bodies
52. Change the multi-party system in Indian democracy
53. See young, talented, honest, hard working politicians whom I can be proud to vote for
54. Spread education and health awareness
55. Do something worthwhile for street children and orphans
56. Make as many women literate as I can
57. See women with poor economic background empower themselves with some skill and earn a living on their own
58. Stop people in foreign countries from thinking that India is just a poor, uncivilised, dirty, overcrowded and selfish nation
59. Stop politicians and religious groups from dividing people on religious issues and creating hatred amongst them
60. Stop terrorists from destroying innocent human lives on being provoked by some religious fanatics
Autobiography of an infant
Hi! This is Angela. I am one year old today. We had a grand party today to celebrate my birthday. Many family members and friends attended my party and brought me gifts. Today morning, when I woke up, my mom hugged me tight, gave me a sweet kiss and wished me a very happy birthday. She also gave me my baby book which she created herself. The book is full of my pictures from the time I was born till today, including an ultrasound report of my mother. It has pictures of me inside my mother. This made me remember some things from the early moments of my life.
I have a faint memory of the time I was inside her. It was a nice and dark home. I used to feel so safe and warm in my liquid-filled home. I got food and air from my mother. I felt safe hearing her heartbeat. My mother used to speak to me and stroke me often. She used to play soft and soothing music, and religious chants for me. She used to take good care of her diet and health so that I could be comfortable and healthy. My work was to be a good baby and take up all the nourishment I could to grow well.
Inside my mother, I used to speak to God every now and then, and ask him questions about my life. I asked him why I was being born in this family. Who was I in my previous birth? Which good deeds had brought me to this family? What is my goal in this life and whether I would attain freedom from this cycle of birth and death in this life?
I enjoyed being the object of joy and happiness for my parents. I could tell by the excitement in their voice that they were eagerly waiting for my arrival.
The day I was born, I had to struggle a lot to get out of my cosy home and come into this world. It was very hard work for me and my mother. I could hear her scream in pain when I was about to come out. I wish God had made an easier and gentler way of bringing babies to their mothers. After seeing my mother, I saw my father and my grandparents. They all were overjoyed to see me and welcomed me with a lot of love. After we came home, lots of other family members visited us and got me lots of presents. They saw me and appreciated my thick hair. After seeing me they would instantly say that I looked like my father, though, my hair and hands were like my mother.
Since I am her first child, mom didn’t know much about taking care of me. Though she used to take utmost care of me, she would get confused sometimes and wouldn’t know how to comfort me. She would try to feed me even if I was crying because I was feeling hot and not hungry. Even if I was feeling hot, she would keep adjusting the speed of the fan so that I wouldn’t catch a cold. Every time I emptied my stomach she would worry over its colour and frequency and think of calling doctor uncle to ask if I was ok.
In order to make me comfortable, she would constantly straighten the sheets of my bed, adjust my pillow, and feel me to see if I was feeling cold. At night, she would check every fifteen minutes to see if I had coughed up milk or I was getting suffocated by my cover. Sometimes I used to feel sorry for my mom. I wish I could tell her in some way what I wanted and felt.
She used to be so worried about me all the time that she won’t leave my side and go anywhere. Even if she went out of the house for only an hour, she would keep thinking about me and come back as soon as she could. I also felt like staying with my mom all the time and would miss her when she was gone.
When I was a month old, I was taken to doctor uncle to get some medicine that was good for my health. I know it was important to take the medicine, but it pained a lot when he put it in my leg. For the next two days my leg pained and I felt very cold and weak. My mom stayed up all night to cradle me and stroke my leg.
Until I was three months old, we used to stay at home all the time because I was very small. But after that my mom started taking me to a very beautiful garden. Many children and elders used to come to the garden. Some children were my age and some were elder to me. When I used to go to the garden, all the children and aunties would come and play with me. They would shake my hand and speak to me in animated voices. I used to love the fresh air and the colourful flowers of the garden.
When I was four months old, I started turning to my side and rolling onto my stomach. By five months, I had started trying to crawl. Earlier, I used to get frustrated when I would drop my toy and couldn’t pick it up, but now I could turn on my own and pick up my toy. Since I was beginning to see and feel things around me, I also wanted to lick them and see how they tasted. I used to put everything that I came across in my mouth and lick it. My mom used to get very annoyed by this habit of mine. But since I didn’t stop doing it, she started cleaning my toys regularly and giving them to me to lick. She also bought a teether for me which I could happily lick and chew with my gums.
By the end of six months, I could easily sit on my own and play with my toys. I could also crawl by now. My mom used to keep running after me wherever I went to see what I was up to. I was so excited by the new skill I developed that I wanted to visit every nook and corner of the house and grab everything I could. I wanted to see, feel, smell and taste everything that came in my hand. From that month on, the floor of my house became my food plate.
The next month I was to begin eating cereals. There was ceremony in my house after which I could eat rice. My tonsure was also performed that month. When my hair started growing back and formed a furry layer on my head, everyone took great pleasure in feeling my head. It was ok in the beginning but I started getting annoyed after a few days. To show my displeasure, the moment somebody touched my head I would scream with all my strength. This made them stop after a few attempts.
This month my mom started holding my hand and making me stand. Once I stood up, she would encourage me to walk. I would take small steps and walk with her. But I would get bored very fast and wouldn’t want to walk. My mom would then wait for some time and then try again. I finally started standing and walking on my own by the end of my eight month. When I stood on my own and took my very first step, my mom jumped with joy and took me in her arms. She then quickly got her camera and shot my next walk. I myself was very glad with my achievement since this meant that I could now grab things that I wanted easily. With a little more practice I could climb the bed and also get down from it whenever I wanted. This meant that I had more freedom and I could have more fun.
By now I could also say a few words. Though it was some gibberish, both mom and papa were excited the minute I uttered my first word. From that day on, mom fervently started to teach me how to say the word ‘Ma’. I would imitate the way she used to move her lips and tried saying a few words. After a few weeks I progressed to say Ma, Pa, and Dada. My grandmother had to wait a little long to hear her name though.
Today, when I look at my baby book, I get reminded of all these things I did this year. It has pictures of my mischief, achievements and the good times I had. I will cherish this baby book for the rest of my life which will keep these fond memories fresh forever.
I have a faint memory of the time I was inside her. It was a nice and dark home. I used to feel so safe and warm in my liquid-filled home. I got food and air from my mother. I felt safe hearing her heartbeat. My mother used to speak to me and stroke me often. She used to play soft and soothing music, and religious chants for me. She used to take good care of her diet and health so that I could be comfortable and healthy. My work was to be a good baby and take up all the nourishment I could to grow well.
Inside my mother, I used to speak to God every now and then, and ask him questions about my life. I asked him why I was being born in this family. Who was I in my previous birth? Which good deeds had brought me to this family? What is my goal in this life and whether I would attain freedom from this cycle of birth and death in this life?
I enjoyed being the object of joy and happiness for my parents. I could tell by the excitement in their voice that they were eagerly waiting for my arrival.
The day I was born, I had to struggle a lot to get out of my cosy home and come into this world. It was very hard work for me and my mother. I could hear her scream in pain when I was about to come out. I wish God had made an easier and gentler way of bringing babies to their mothers. After seeing my mother, I saw my father and my grandparents. They all were overjoyed to see me and welcomed me with a lot of love. After we came home, lots of other family members visited us and got me lots of presents. They saw me and appreciated my thick hair. After seeing me they would instantly say that I looked like my father, though, my hair and hands were like my mother.
Since I am her first child, mom didn’t know much about taking care of me. Though she used to take utmost care of me, she would get confused sometimes and wouldn’t know how to comfort me. She would try to feed me even if I was crying because I was feeling hot and not hungry. Even if I was feeling hot, she would keep adjusting the speed of the fan so that I wouldn’t catch a cold. Every time I emptied my stomach she would worry over its colour and frequency and think of calling doctor uncle to ask if I was ok.
In order to make me comfortable, she would constantly straighten the sheets of my bed, adjust my pillow, and feel me to see if I was feeling cold. At night, she would check every fifteen minutes to see if I had coughed up milk or I was getting suffocated by my cover. Sometimes I used to feel sorry for my mom. I wish I could tell her in some way what I wanted and felt.
She used to be so worried about me all the time that she won’t leave my side and go anywhere. Even if she went out of the house for only an hour, she would keep thinking about me and come back as soon as she could. I also felt like staying with my mom all the time and would miss her when she was gone.
When I was a month old, I was taken to doctor uncle to get some medicine that was good for my health. I know it was important to take the medicine, but it pained a lot when he put it in my leg. For the next two days my leg pained and I felt very cold and weak. My mom stayed up all night to cradle me and stroke my leg.
Until I was three months old, we used to stay at home all the time because I was very small. But after that my mom started taking me to a very beautiful garden. Many children and elders used to come to the garden. Some children were my age and some were elder to me. When I used to go to the garden, all the children and aunties would come and play with me. They would shake my hand and speak to me in animated voices. I used to love the fresh air and the colourful flowers of the garden.
When I was four months old, I started turning to my side and rolling onto my stomach. By five months, I had started trying to crawl. Earlier, I used to get frustrated when I would drop my toy and couldn’t pick it up, but now I could turn on my own and pick up my toy. Since I was beginning to see and feel things around me, I also wanted to lick them and see how they tasted. I used to put everything that I came across in my mouth and lick it. My mom used to get very annoyed by this habit of mine. But since I didn’t stop doing it, she started cleaning my toys regularly and giving them to me to lick. She also bought a teether for me which I could happily lick and chew with my gums.
By the end of six months, I could easily sit on my own and play with my toys. I could also crawl by now. My mom used to keep running after me wherever I went to see what I was up to. I was so excited by the new skill I developed that I wanted to visit every nook and corner of the house and grab everything I could. I wanted to see, feel, smell and taste everything that came in my hand. From that month on, the floor of my house became my food plate.
The next month I was to begin eating cereals. There was ceremony in my house after which I could eat rice. My tonsure was also performed that month. When my hair started growing back and formed a furry layer on my head, everyone took great pleasure in feeling my head. It was ok in the beginning but I started getting annoyed after a few days. To show my displeasure, the moment somebody touched my head I would scream with all my strength. This made them stop after a few attempts.
This month my mom started holding my hand and making me stand. Once I stood up, she would encourage me to walk. I would take small steps and walk with her. But I would get bored very fast and wouldn’t want to walk. My mom would then wait for some time and then try again. I finally started standing and walking on my own by the end of my eight month. When I stood on my own and took my very first step, my mom jumped with joy and took me in her arms. She then quickly got her camera and shot my next walk. I myself was very glad with my achievement since this meant that I could now grab things that I wanted easily. With a little more practice I could climb the bed and also get down from it whenever I wanted. This meant that I had more freedom and I could have more fun.
By now I could also say a few words. Though it was some gibberish, both mom and papa were excited the minute I uttered my first word. From that day on, mom fervently started to teach me how to say the word ‘Ma’. I would imitate the way she used to move her lips and tried saying a few words. After a few weeks I progressed to say Ma, Pa, and Dada. My grandmother had to wait a little long to hear her name though.
Today, when I look at my baby book, I get reminded of all these things I did this year. It has pictures of my mischief, achievements and the good times I had. I will cherish this baby book for the rest of my life which will keep these fond memories fresh forever.
Pregnancy and Motherhood II
The birth of a child is the most exciting and life changing experience of a woman’s life. She feels overjoyed as well as overwhelmed by her new responsibility. She is happy as well as taken aback by the way her life has suddenly changed.
During her pregnancy she was the focus of everyone’s attention. She was pampered all the time and wasn’t allowed to do one more thing than what was necessary. She was treated like a queen. But now, she is the one responsible to look after a tiny baby who completely depends on her for survival.
The feeling of holding the baby in her arms feels like heaven but the thought that scares her most is that she knows nothing about taking care of a new born baby. She depends on the brief advice of professionals and the unreliable advice of well-wishers to take care of her most precious possession. She is under the microscope all the time and is being judged as a mother by how she takes care of her baby. One mistake and she is labelled as a careless mother. She is expected to learn on her own how to feed, massage, bathe, and soothe the baby. Her instincts are expected to work over time to be able to pinpoint the cause of discomfort of her baby the moment her baby starts to wail.
No matter how sacred, loving and healthy breastfeeding may seem at the beginning, the mother might get tired of it by the time the baby completes three or four months. If the baby takes about an hour to satisfy its hunger, the mother has to be available for just feeding the baby for ten hours in a day apart from attending to other chores. Twenty four hours in a day just don’t seem enough to finish doing everything. Thus, it is a great help to the mother if at least a few feeds of the baby are substituted with formula milk. This also helps in giving the mother a reasonably good sleep at night.
A new mother is forever plagued with the worry about her baby getting enough milk, growing up normally, catching a cold, suffocating over anything in the cot, the list goes on. Even at night, she looks at her baby every two minutes to make sure everything is in place and her baby is fine.
Not only this, once the baby comes into picture, the relationship with her husband might also suffer. This is because her focus of attention is now her new baby and most of her energy is spent in its upkeep. She tries so hard at making her baby’s environment safe and comfortable that she sometimes ends up hurting her loved one’s feelings. Taking care of the baby takes up all her time and she loses contact with the other important people in her life. Everything else apart from her baby seems unimportant. Taking out even a little time for herself makes her feel guilty.
But all of this doesn’t stop her from enjoying the new joy of her life. And as the baby gets a few months old and life with the baby falls into a pattern, everything seems to come back to normal.
During her pregnancy she was the focus of everyone’s attention. She was pampered all the time and wasn’t allowed to do one more thing than what was necessary. She was treated like a queen. But now, she is the one responsible to look after a tiny baby who completely depends on her for survival.
The feeling of holding the baby in her arms feels like heaven but the thought that scares her most is that she knows nothing about taking care of a new born baby. She depends on the brief advice of professionals and the unreliable advice of well-wishers to take care of her most precious possession. She is under the microscope all the time and is being judged as a mother by how she takes care of her baby. One mistake and she is labelled as a careless mother. She is expected to learn on her own how to feed, massage, bathe, and soothe the baby. Her instincts are expected to work over time to be able to pinpoint the cause of discomfort of her baby the moment her baby starts to wail.
No matter how sacred, loving and healthy breastfeeding may seem at the beginning, the mother might get tired of it by the time the baby completes three or four months. If the baby takes about an hour to satisfy its hunger, the mother has to be available for just feeding the baby for ten hours in a day apart from attending to other chores. Twenty four hours in a day just don’t seem enough to finish doing everything. Thus, it is a great help to the mother if at least a few feeds of the baby are substituted with formula milk. This also helps in giving the mother a reasonably good sleep at night.
A new mother is forever plagued with the worry about her baby getting enough milk, growing up normally, catching a cold, suffocating over anything in the cot, the list goes on. Even at night, she looks at her baby every two minutes to make sure everything is in place and her baby is fine.
Not only this, once the baby comes into picture, the relationship with her husband might also suffer. This is because her focus of attention is now her new baby and most of her energy is spent in its upkeep. She tries so hard at making her baby’s environment safe and comfortable that she sometimes ends up hurting her loved one’s feelings. Taking care of the baby takes up all her time and she loses contact with the other important people in her life. Everything else apart from her baby seems unimportant. Taking out even a little time for herself makes her feel guilty.
But all of this doesn’t stop her from enjoying the new joy of her life. And as the baby gets a few months old and life with the baby falls into a pattern, everything seems to come back to normal.
Pregnancy and Motherhood I
Pregnancy can be both fascinating and exhausting experience in a woman’s life. During these nine months she is anxious for the baby’s health and at the same time is bewildered by the various changes her body goes through.
She gets excited when she first gets to know that there is a tiny being growing up inside her. For the first three months she is expected to take precaution while performing various activities that might harm her pregnancy, but all this hassle seems unnecessary to her as she feels absolutely normal.
It is particularly tough for the mother when her body starts giving her mixed signals for the body functions she has known for years. She feels tired and drowsy through out the day, even after getting a good night’s sleep. She has no control over her bladder anymore. She gets hunger pangs every two hours or so even if she has been a disciplined eater all her life. She craves to eat something that she used to dislike and starts disliking something which she was very fond of. She might even crave for something which she hasn’t eaten in years. While some women sail through the first three months without any signs of nausea, others find it tough to stomach a meal or snack.
Pregnancy is a time in a woman’s life when she needs the support from her partner the most. She needs him to listen to what she is going through and show sympathy towards her. She wants him to be super-sensitive towards her needs and her mood swings. She also needs his physical support to make her feel loved and comfortable, and to look after her general well being.
The easiest phase of pregnancy is from the fourth month to the sixth month. By now the lady gets used to the idea of being pregnant and is geared up for various other changes her body will go through. It becomes increasingly difficult for her to sleep on her back because of breathlessness. She gets up frequently at night to empty her bladder and to catch a quick snack. She feels tired all the time. Even one extra activity during the day makes her very tired. She starts getting conscious of her increasing weight and bulging belly. The fear of developing stretch marks sets in and she doesn’t hesitate in trying out any skin cream or lotion that might help in minimising them.
It is somewhere in the beginning of the fifth month when she first feels her baby move. This is the most exciting time of pregnancy. The movement of a baby feels more like something fluttering and turning in her belly. By now most women have got an ultra sound scan of their abdomen done. It is fascinating to get a glimpse of the baby and to see its head, face, limbs and spine, and also to hear the baby’s heartbeat. It is also relieving to know that the baby is growing normally and is free from any kind of disability or disease.
It is a common belief that during pregnancy the mother should avoid watching anything violent, should listen to religious scriptures and hymns, and generally be at peace. At this time round the baby starts developing the ability to hear. It can hear its mother’s heartbeat and stomach. This is very comforting to the unborn child. It is a good idea to sing or talk to the baby lovingly. This helps the baby to grow healthier.
The third trimester or the last three months of pregnancy are the most difficult ones. Women experience muscle pain, high blood pressure, headaches and swelling of legs during this period. The burgeoning belly makes it impossible for her to sleep in one position for long. The growing discomfort makes her impatient to finally get it over and done with, but the thoughts of delivery make her nervous too.
It really helps to read as much as possible about pregnancy and labour as it helps a woman to prepare herself for the D-day. She knows what to expect when finally the day arrives and she starts getting the first pangs of labour pain. This avoids panic and reduces unnecessary tension. She knows how she would be treated during the time of delivery by her medical practitioner and the medical options available to her during the birthing process. She is also better prepared to bear the labour pain and help in the process of birthing.
It is said that no two pregnancies are same. Hence, for some pregnancy is a nightmare while for others it’s a smooth sail. Whatever it may be, the joy of finally holding your baby in your arms is incomparable to any other joy in life. It is a God’s gift to you to name, love and nurture.
She gets excited when she first gets to know that there is a tiny being growing up inside her. For the first three months she is expected to take precaution while performing various activities that might harm her pregnancy, but all this hassle seems unnecessary to her as she feels absolutely normal.
It is particularly tough for the mother when her body starts giving her mixed signals for the body functions she has known for years. She feels tired and drowsy through out the day, even after getting a good night’s sleep. She has no control over her bladder anymore. She gets hunger pangs every two hours or so even if she has been a disciplined eater all her life. She craves to eat something that she used to dislike and starts disliking something which she was very fond of. She might even crave for something which she hasn’t eaten in years. While some women sail through the first three months without any signs of nausea, others find it tough to stomach a meal or snack.
Pregnancy is a time in a woman’s life when she needs the support from her partner the most. She needs him to listen to what she is going through and show sympathy towards her. She wants him to be super-sensitive towards her needs and her mood swings. She also needs his physical support to make her feel loved and comfortable, and to look after her general well being.
The easiest phase of pregnancy is from the fourth month to the sixth month. By now the lady gets used to the idea of being pregnant and is geared up for various other changes her body will go through. It becomes increasingly difficult for her to sleep on her back because of breathlessness. She gets up frequently at night to empty her bladder and to catch a quick snack. She feels tired all the time. Even one extra activity during the day makes her very tired. She starts getting conscious of her increasing weight and bulging belly. The fear of developing stretch marks sets in and she doesn’t hesitate in trying out any skin cream or lotion that might help in minimising them.
It is somewhere in the beginning of the fifth month when she first feels her baby move. This is the most exciting time of pregnancy. The movement of a baby feels more like something fluttering and turning in her belly. By now most women have got an ultra sound scan of their abdomen done. It is fascinating to get a glimpse of the baby and to see its head, face, limbs and spine, and also to hear the baby’s heartbeat. It is also relieving to know that the baby is growing normally and is free from any kind of disability or disease.
It is a common belief that during pregnancy the mother should avoid watching anything violent, should listen to religious scriptures and hymns, and generally be at peace. At this time round the baby starts developing the ability to hear. It can hear its mother’s heartbeat and stomach. This is very comforting to the unborn child. It is a good idea to sing or talk to the baby lovingly. This helps the baby to grow healthier.
The third trimester or the last three months of pregnancy are the most difficult ones. Women experience muscle pain, high blood pressure, headaches and swelling of legs during this period. The burgeoning belly makes it impossible for her to sleep in one position for long. The growing discomfort makes her impatient to finally get it over and done with, but the thoughts of delivery make her nervous too.
It really helps to read as much as possible about pregnancy and labour as it helps a woman to prepare herself for the D-day. She knows what to expect when finally the day arrives and she starts getting the first pangs of labour pain. This avoids panic and reduces unnecessary tension. She knows how she would be treated during the time of delivery by her medical practitioner and the medical options available to her during the birthing process. She is also better prepared to bear the labour pain and help in the process of birthing.
It is said that no two pregnancies are same. Hence, for some pregnancy is a nightmare while for others it’s a smooth sail. Whatever it may be, the joy of finally holding your baby in your arms is incomparable to any other joy in life. It is a God’s gift to you to name, love and nurture.
My Latest Passion - Arts and Crafts
I like writing, I really do. Well I earn my living by doing it, but I haven’t been able to find an interesting topic to write about since quite sometime. Nothing interesting is happening in my life to write about, but yes I can write about my latest passion for arts and crafts. It all began when I started visiting websites on card making.
The crafts projects and beautiful handmade cards gallery on these websites ignited my desire to try and create something of my own; anything creative and interesting that I could make to display at home or gift to my family and friends. I started by making two stained glass paintings. I finished one but one is still unfinished, as I have recently shifted to a
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