I know lots of people who can fight with ease and say the right thing at the right time. They can recalls what happened decades ago and bring up those issues in a matter of seconds. Even if they have made up with the other person in past, they will dig out the same issues and faults and intensify the fight. I am one of those fools who can’t even fight intelligently.
When someone screams at me uselessly or picks a fight, I go blank and start thinking why the other person is accusing me of such a thing. I get so engrossed in the thought and find the situation so unbelievable that I can think of not a single thing to say in my defence. It is only in retrospect that I can think of 100 things to defend myself and counter-accuse the person.
There have been so many times when someone has accused me of emotionally not handling a situation properly or reacting in an unpleasant way, but I have never been able to explain my ground to them in time. I have only felt frustrated at that point of time and later cried to release my pent up emotions, never been able to defend myself and prove that I was right.
One more ‘problem’ of mine is that I can never retain my anger. I happen to cool down so fast that it acts against me. It doesn’t leave me with enough frustration to stick to the fight and make the other person’s life miserable. My irritation or dissatisfaction at not having the last word in the fight remains for a while. If the other person asks for forgiveness in time, I forget all about the issue and make up. But, in case the other person doesn’t, he is included in the list of the people I dislike for a certain period of time. Once that irritation wears off or the person in question doesn’t act unpleasantly again, I forgive and forget him.
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